Fitting the mold
Updated: Jul 16, 2022
It was an early Sunday morning in Piteå. The rain was coming down pretty strong and both me and my son Zacke were ready for the day. It felt like one of those cozy mornings and my husband Frej hadn't arrived from his night shift yet so i decided to play the movie Brave while i prepared us all some breakfast.
I've always loved that movie. I was drawn to Merida's strong will, confidence and independence. It's been years since i saw it last, and as it played in my peripheral, i started to get emotional. I was aware of what triggered my emotions. Merida feeling trapped in what her role was supposed to be. Not feeling seen and accepted for who she truly was and what her desires were. She didn't fit into the mold she was "supposed to" and felt completely alone, unsupported and misunderstood by those closest to her, so she ran away to a witch in desperation to change her fate aka have the freedom to choose her own.
This felt so relatable and I am sure i'm not alone. When we look at the parent child relationship in the last few centuries its been the parents job to mold their children as respectable adults that will thrive in our society, as society sees fit. All parents want their children to succeed, avoid suffering and to have security but when this becomes first priority we lose sight of them as individual beings. With their own needs, their own will, their own way.
What if our role as parents was to first and foremost connect with our children? To try to understand them as individuals so we can support and guide them through their own personal journeys and successes. What if all they needed to succeed was to feel seen, accepted, respected, safe, loved, and free?
Who wouldn't thrive then?